”Sport Compact Crossover"

"404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
03/15/2017 at 12:42 • Filed to: Crossover

Picture this at its announcement...

Car company exec: ...you’ve seen our full size and compact crossovers, and now, try the hottest new craze, “Sport Compact Crossover” . It’s just like a crossover, but with the suspension lowered.

Crowd: *claps*

Me: That’s a fucking hatchback.

Inspired by Ron Swanson on Milk.

DISCUSSION (18)

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 12:47

It’s also a Mercedes

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 12:48

They can call them whatever the hell they want if it means getting more hatchbacks in the American market.

404 - User No Longer Available > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 12:49

TBH I don’t really consider the CLA and GLA to be a real Mercedes anyways...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 12:50

What is real, anyways?

LongbowMkII > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 12:54

IF it wasn’t a crossover why would it have the 1/2” of rugged plastic around the wheelwells?

Yeah, thought so. QED

404 - User No Longer Available > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 12:55

Formal RWD sedans with a standup gunsight star in the front, that looks like you will be taken to a concentration camp if you get in its way. Basically the car choice of dictators.

Ash78, voting early and often > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 12:56

We’re just trying to sell steroid-fed hatchbacks and you have to go get all Existentialist on us?

404 - User No Longer Available > LongbowMkII
03/15/2017 at 12:57

Look closely, there’s a shimmer. It’s glossy gray plastic, painted.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 12:57

Dictators, or misunderstood world leaders? Let history be my judge.

xyzabc > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 13:01

Geez...these Crossover things are getting old and have become the new “Minivan”. It’ll take a good 30 years to purge them from the collective automotive landscape. Aerostats, Windstars and the Chevy Lumina MPV-variants are pretty much gone from your average intersection...can’t wait for these to vamoose as well. IMHO.

TheRealBicycleBuck > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 13:05

Yep. Give it a little more rear overhang and it’s a wagon.

I have this argument with my wife. She hates the Outback because it’s a wagon, but drives an Explorer, which, to my eye, is just a fat wagon. I pointed out the similarities.

Now she wants a truck.

LongbowMkII > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/15/2017 at 13:09

IT’S RUGGED GLOSSY BLACK PAINTED PLASTIC OK? It’s for the urban jungle !

I DID NOT SPEND $50,000 ON A GLORIFIED HATCHBACK!!!!